


3:00 AM Thoughts

by jadziadrgnrdr



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2013-10-19
Packaged: 2017-12-29 21:30:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1010325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadziadrgnrdr/pseuds/jadziadrgnrdr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A rush of thoughts before Zayn falls asleep on Bus 1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	3:00 AM Thoughts

It’s just fun. 

A poke. A pinch. A touch. On stage. Always on stage now. Fingertips ride down your spine. Two bodies pressed close in a line. Like before, but different. There are witnesses. An audience. Not real. Not anymore. Was it ever real? 

Yes. 

Can’t even take the question seriously. Yes, it was real. Only a few times though. Hidden. Ours.

Can’t when we’re alone. Not a viable path to walk. Sacrifice is part of love, and I love her. The life I want is the life she can give. I will always have you. Before each breath. Behind each blink. Slatted between heartbeats. Inexorable. For the rest of our lives.

I hope it’s not selfish. I see how you love. I think you love me. Your heart is just made for it. That’s what you do. Want you to be well. I think you are. You seem happy if a bit lost. Surrounded by love so I think you’re ok for now. You will find someone. She will fill all your lonely places. Maybe “he.” I’m not sure. But “he” makes me ache. I have no right. I know.

I’m going to be the man she deserves. She’s forgiven so much. She’ll never know about you if I can help it. Won’t make you a thing that needs to be forgiven. So we keep it on stage. A poke. A pinch. A touch. Lips ghosting over skin. By “accident.” Your smile. (Even when it’s sad.) Your smell. Your eyes.

It’s just fun.

**Author's Note:**

> Something I woke up thinking about. Written quickly and unbetaed.


End file.
